Since there is no conceivable rock under which one could live big enough to hid the fact that Mario exists, I’m going to move right into explaining the latest adventure that will soon grace our respective consoles. What with the Switch and all.
With the eyes upon Mario’s classic headwear hiding a secret about as well as a glass pane, people have long suspected that Cappy (the cleverly/obviously named cap) would play a role larger than that of Mario’s portable platform mechanic. And those people were right. Apparently, accepting a magical hat as an ally grants one the ability to affix their consciousness to whatever so wear said hat next. In simple terms: Mario puts his hat on things and then becomes things. Which is as odd as it is cool. Ever wanted to be a Bullet Bill? A Goomba? Koopa? A random guy in the city? A taxi? I know I’ve never thought about it before, but now I certainly want all of those things. And if that didn’t sell you on this new title, which seems entirely fun and has a new theme song that is catchy as heck, then two little words will certainly sell you a ticket on this odyssey: Tyrannosaurus Rex…with a moustache. Okay, that was more than two words, but still. T-Rex. Moustache. Hat with eyes. What more could you want? Is it Pauline? Because I’m pretty sure Pauline is back…and that may just be more surprising than the T-Rex/moustache/hat thing.